Are You One of Them Left-Wing Extremists?

You know, the kind with really big hair and a pince-nez, always talking about the "workers and peasants" and the Kronstadt Rebellion and stuff like that? Now you can find out.

Time Magazine's Joe Klein has published a "partial list" of the traits that define a "left-wing extremist." It may be only partial, but it's worthy of being enshrined in a USA Today or Readers' Digest poll.

The genesis of this list begins with the celebrated Duncan Black's (Atrios/Eschaton) daily goading of Klein, fingering him as a fake liberal. When Klein responded yesterday that Atrios was a "left-wing extremist," he was asked by Black and others to define the term. To his credit, he did.

So good ahead. Take the test and find out if you're part of the vast Left Wing Conspiracy, actively working to destabilize legitimate governments and free enterprise, and learn the words to "The Internationale." I know I am.

A left-wing extremist:

1. Believes the United States is a fundamentally negative force in the world.

2. Believes that American imperialism is the primary cause of Islamic radicalism.

3. Believes that the decision to go to war in Iraq was not an individual case of monumental stupidity, but a consequence of America’s fundamental imperialistic nature.

4. Tends to blame America for the failures of others—i.e. the failure of our NATO allies to fulfill their responsibilities in Afghanistan.

5. Doesn’t believe that capitalism, carefully regulated and progressively taxed, is the best liberal idea in human history.

6. Believes American society is fundamentally unfair (as opposed to having unfair aspects that need improvement).

7. Believes that eternal problems like crime and poverty are the primarily the fault of society.

8. Believes that America isn’t really a democracy.

9. Believes that corporations are fundamentally evil.

10. Believes in a corporate conspiracy that controls the world.

11. Is intolerant of good ideas when they come from conservative sources. (Note: I wish Joe Klein had identified a couple examples of the kinds of "good ideas" he's talking about here.)

12. Dismissively mocks people of faith, especially those who are opposed to abortion and gay marriage.

13. Regularly uses harsh, vulgar, intolerant language to attack moderates or conservatives.

Boy, and that's only a partial list. Once Klein warms to the task, he might come up with 101 points. I don't know if I can find that many links.

But I've taken the test, and I'm glad to say I'm a moderate, not a lef-wing extremist. Yep, you bet.