the blue sutras

Answering the question of how balanced the three aspects of kriya yoga are in my life -- the three Patanjali specifies in aphorism 2.1 (tapas, svadhyaya, and isvara pranidhana) -- I find it more useful to think of these three things as aspects of the practice which are intertwined in the manner of the three elements at the center of the Buddhist dharmachakra (pictured) rather than three separate legs holding up a stool.



The evolution of Dave B the Yogi began with tapas -- with asana a couple times a week in a class setting at first, and with gradual dietary changes, and then ditching the smoking habit. Pranayama came about a year later, and taken altogether these things by degrees led to svadhyaya -- self-reflection and meditation, and also to the frequent reading of spiritual texts, if the definition of spiritual texts is broadened to include the Christian/Jewish Bible as well as Hindu/Buddhist works alongside that bedrock of yoga scripture, Patanjali's Sutras. And in time these things led me to the work in progress -- discovering who I am, compared with that other guy I used to be.

This has been a blue experience -- calm, quiet, gradual, and gentle, as opposed to the red experience of overheated, traumatic, and hysterical religious conversion in the way we ordinarily think of it.

I meditate on the nature of the higher power sometimes, but still can't get my human mind around it. The ultimate God would have to be infinite and eternal -- two things my mind as yet cannot conceive of, for my experience here on earth has only encompassed people, places, and things that are finite and temporal. So at this point I would have to say I'm moving toward isvara pranidhana. The Taittiriya Upanishad tells me that the mind inside my head is the universe -- not like the universe, but is the universe, and thus infinite and eternal. Patanjali tells me that with the attainment of a focused mind, the inner being will establish itself in all its reality (YS 1.3), which would open the door to the realization the Upanishad promises. These are not things I'll accept on faith, however, but will have to experience them to fully understand them, and as I said before, that's a work in progress.

There's no doubt that this has been and continues to be a religious experience, but not of a sort I ever expected. We westerners with our nearly exclusive identification of religion with Christianity tend to view religion as a highly emotional and somewhat traumatic experience. How strange it is, then, to find texts like the Yoga Sutras, with their quiet, unhurried, rational tone, or the Upanishads, which are obviously formulations of lists and set pieces intended for memorization and recitation. How different these things are from the scary imagery of the first chapter of Ezekiel and the Book of Revelation, or the emotional trauma of Job, or the psychologically wrenching symbolism of the blood sacrifice of the crucifixion. Not for the yogi is the high drama of the conversion experience of a St. Paul, thrown off his donkey and knocked unconscious by the power of the risen Christ on the road to Damascus.

Instead, Patanjali only urges us, gently and in a quiet tone, to practice what he prescribes respectfully, seriously, diligently, frequently, and with devotion over a long period of time (YS 1:14). By this means, through gentle penetration, gradually, quietly, and without any crisis or panic attacks, the light of religion, like mild sunshine which tenderly warms all it falls upon, will gradually infuse itself throughout all aspects of one's life. And I believe it, because that's been my experience.

--30--

finding the line

At yoga teacher training class last night in the old brick schoolhouse on Phinney Ridge, our teacher and mentor rang the bell to signal the start of a practice she promised would be "hot and spicy." I was feeling pretty cocky, so didn't bother to ask myself for whom the bell tolled.

To make a long story short, I had to drop out about 2/3 of the way through this extremely challenging sequnce because I simply couldn't continue. I probably should have quit sooner, but kept trying to stay with it until I felt like I was going to pass out. At that point I knew I wasn't doing myself any favors by keeping on.

Sometimes it's hard for a person to admit that there are things he's not young enough,or strong enough, or well enough to do. But then, on the other hand it's important to know what our limitations are, and I found mine last night.

I can attend all-levels classes and even the weekly intermediate session at the teacher's studio and get through that stuff without any problems, so I figure it's best to count my blessings instead of feeling bad about what I can't do. And those classes, like my daily practice, provide a tremendous boost to my physical, emotional, and mental health rather than posing a danger or being something I shouldn't be doing.

The first time I taught chair yoga to the over-65 crowd I remember thinking, "I'm sure glad I don't have to sit in a chair to do my practice," but now I realize that sooner or later that day is coming, and not just for me. And that's a great thing, because it's better than just sitting around like I did for years.

One of the great aspects of Viniyoga is that it's truly elastic and adaptable. It genuinely is for everybody, and speaking of chair yoga, I'm beginning to feel like there's a great opportunity there for me. Frequent yoga for active, older adults is something we're going to be seeing a lot more of in the near future.

--30--

bump

Taught my last class at the Shoreline YMCA today, and it ended really well. That makes 4 of 4.

I had five ladies turn out, and they really enjoyed themselves. I got a positive reaction.

They got together and were making a request that my class be continued as I was leaving.

I doubt there's a job there, but it's really nice to be appreciated at your very first gig.

--30--

faith community

Gradually as I've continued hanging out in the yoga community in Seattle over the past eight months, it's slowly become apparent to me that this is a faith community, of sorts. It's not the kind of society where people sit around discussing theology very much.

Not that there aren't people who spend time talking about yoga or writing about it -- there are, and some of them do a great job of it too.

But for the most part yoga is a theology of action, and something that needs to be done rather than just believed. The idea is that the mind will follow certain actions the way a cartwheel follows the ox pulling it.

This is my kind of faith community, that's for sure. I always did find theological debate really tedious and boring.

--30--

negative to positive

The word for the day: breathe in; breathe out.

Breathe from the top of the chest downward. On exhale, push towards the spine with the belly, from the bottom up.

From the top down, from the bottom up.

In with the positive, and out with the negative.

In with the good, out with the not-so-good.

In with the "Yes, I can," and out with the "No, I can't."

With such small steps as these you can make yourself a new reality.

Miniature sculpture: Reverse Polarity (artist unknown).

--30--

into the future

After teaching a second class yesterday I can see where this is going, and I also see what's missing. I need to keep on doing everything I'm doing, but I also need to add a big dose of Ellen.

Ellen B. was my first yoga mentor, way down deep in the semi-civilized wastes of SoCal, and sometimes I think she has no idea what a great teacher she is. Some of the simplest things she taught us will turn out to be the most valuable for my purposes.

I'm seeing a lot of severe arthritis among the people who show up in my classes: a lot of chronic, nagging pain in shoulders, knees, and elbows. Shoulders especially. These are mostly people who would have a very difficult time getting onto the floor and back up again unassisted. They're not old and feeble and senile, in fact just the opposite. They tend to be lively and animated, but everything they do in an exercise class has to be adapted to address the deteriorated condition of their joints.

The key is finding the right adaptations of the right movements for this group as a whole. If I can do that I can probably help a lot of people. This is kind of exciting; it's unfolding like a story in one of those children's pop-up books.

--30--

paradise

Paradise is real, but exists only in the mind. Located in a specific time as well as a specific place, it's impossible to capture or hang on to.

Once those magical feelings of security and abundance have slipped away they never return, and paradise becomes a memory and a vapor, like a dream.

I remember my paradise clearly, for I recognized it at the time, though it was very humble, and definitely a low-intensity experience. For some, ecstasy is extreme exuberance, but for others of us, it's tranquility.

--30--